Are you a goal-setter? I must confess, I struggle with goal-setting as well as follow through. However, I know enough about myself to know that if I don’t set goals for myself, then I will just drift. After drifting for awhile, I’ll end up getting frustrated with my circumstances, and eventually myself, for not being more intentional.
Unfortunately, this struggle carries over into my role as a parent too often. Rather than having intentionality in my parenting approach, I find myself often drifting along and reacting to situations in the moment. Sometimes the way I handle those moments aren’t the best, especially as it relates to the long-term well-being of my children. My “in the moment” responses and choices can actually undermine the long-term goals I have for myself as a parent, as well as my goals for my kids. Can you relate?
I believe we all have goals as parents. Sometimes they are clear and specific. Sometimes they are unspoken and are below the surface, but still direct our thoughts and actions. If I had you stop for a few minutes and articulate your parenting goals for your children, what would they be? Go ahead and list a few of them.
Here are a few common goals I believe many Christian parents have for their kids:
Experience Safety
Achieve Success (Academic, Athletic, Future Career, etc.)
Exhibit Good Behavior
Make Good Memories
Feel Loved
Have All the Things They Need/Want
Are there any on the list above that also made your list? Are there any big ones that I missed?
Unfortunately, one big one that isn’t on the list above, and sadly is easy to leave off unless we’re intentional, is for our kids to Experience a Close, Growing Relationship with Jesus. If you were honest, where would you say that goal falls on your list of goals as a parent for your kids? Is it the #1 goal? If I’m honest, too often it isn’t at the top of my list, and I don’t like that.
In the Old Testament, God instructed the people of Israel early on to be intentional about how they were to parent their kids.
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” -Deuteronomy 6:4-9 ESV
God desired that His people would love Him above all else. This command was so important that God asked Israel to teach it “diligently” to their children. Each moment of their lives (sitting, walking, laying down, standing up) was to be lived to accomplish that goal in their homes.
The book of Proverbs reminds us of the fruit that is often produced later in our children’s lives when we are spiritually intentional with them.
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6 ESV.
In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul tells fathers to be intentional parents as well.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. -Ephesians 6:4 ESV.
Discipline (which is different than punishment) and Instruction are only successful when they are implemented as part of a bigger, intentional plan.
Many people spend time and money to meet with a financial advisor in order to achieve their long-term financial goals. The dream of life looking a specific way down the road is paved by small, seemingly insignificant daily choices. Will I spend money on lunch at the place near my office, or will I pack my lunch and save that little bit of money? Will I buy that expensive coffee every morning on my way to work, or will I brew my own at home? Do I need that new TV, a smart phone upgrade, the latest car model, a big house for all of my things, or could I live with less now so that I have more for what matters most to me in the future?
In the same way, the future dream of our children growing up as adults who love and follow Jesus with all of their hearts is paved by small, seemingly insignificant daily choices by us, their parents. And yes, I am fully aware, that doing all the “right things” as a parent isn’t at all a guarantee that our children will walk with Jesus all of their lives, but isn’t the same true with financial investing? Every financial investment plan I’ve ever looked at specifically says that they can’t guarantee that the investor won’t lose money. But just because there isn’t a guarantee, doesn’t mean we still shouldn’t have a plan, both with our finances, and, even more importantly, with the spiritual future of our children.
So what are some of the small, seemingly insignificant (yet hugely important) daily spiritual choices we can make to help point our children towards a future of walking with Jesus? Here are just couple of ideas I’d like to share:
Nurture your own relationship with God. When we make our own walk with Jesus a priority in our lives, our children observe it, see how we prioritize it, and are more inclined to follow our example. This also allows us to speak spiritually into their lives out of the overflow of what God is doing in our own hearts.
Nurture your family’s relationship with God. When families make intentional time to pray together, read God’s Word together, worship with a body of believers together and serve others together, it shows that spiritual growth and maturity is for everyone in the family, young and old alike.
It can feeling daunting to try to tackle a big goal like pointing our children towards Jesus above everything else. If you’re like me, a big goal can cause us to freeze up. We may put it off or not even start because it’s too hard and seems too unreachable. Yet, I’m starting to learn in my own life, that one small step, one seemingly insignificant change, can start a completely new trajectory.
My encouragement to you is, pick one small thing you can start today. Maybe it’s starting a simple Bible reading plan on your Bible app. Maybe it’s praying with your kids for a few minutes at bedtime. Maybe it’s setting the alarm a few minutes earlier on Sunday morning so the whole family can be awake, on time and ready to serve and worship together with a body of believers.
When our kids eventually grow into adults, leave our homes and make choices for themselves, wouldn’t it be amazing if they were walking closely with God and loving Him with all of their heart, soul and strength? We can play a big role today in seeing that goal become a future reality.
Comments